'It's about me. Striking a contrived sad face. A sulky face. But am I really unhappy or am I kind of amused or confused. Life in lockdown has its ups and downs. For someone like me it has given me time to reflect and time to engage in creative projects I had put on the back burner before. It's helped me shift my thinking and resulted in some personal epiphanies. I think I have appreciated life slowing down in terms of social and leisure pursuits. My new normal is the lost "normal" I should have found long ago. But happens when this is over and the pressure is back on. Do I join in like before or resist. I dunno. The ambivalence I feel is a suit I wear more proudly now. This painting is me in my ambivalence suit staring down the viewer with mixture of thoughts and feelings that I can't decide on. There is a cross behind me in the distance. I'm not nailed to it. I'm floating somewhere in-between the cross and the future'

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- J Rattigan